grief 1

And the pain is so thick I can almost see the blood in my wounds, I can't possibly be sure how long the healing will take... Only losing my firstborn compares to the level of heartache I experience now.... Why did I ask you to ruin me so that I would be good for only you? Is the tearing what it takes to make me lose my tight grip on what makes me human so that i can grab hold of what makes me holy? I cry myself to sleep and I cry myself awake...is this just what true Grief looks like? A literal sickness all over and a cant get away from my heart? And I know it's ugly and it's all the time, but this is the dirt that rubs the pearl that makes me gain...
I hadn't heard you in days and so I wrenched open my gut and pleaded with my life... And just as I was feeling hopeless you said, "I'm right here baby, I'm right beside you... ". Relief flooded me, I just can't last that long without hearing you... Don't do that to me... Friend of my heart...